FML

This is one of my favorite sites .
http://www.fmylife.com/

Today, I started feeling really sick and came home from work. My roommate, convinced I had the H1N1 flu and fully fueled by the media, locked me in my room so nothing in the house could be contaminated and went to her friend's house. I have food poisoning and I can't get to the bathroom. FML

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML